My Wonderful Granddaughter

by Denise Bowie

Date: Sat, 22 Nov 2003

On the 31st December 2002. My daughter phoned me to tell me she was in labour. I rushed to her house and took her in to the hospital. My son in law took my grandson to the hospital with him I took my daughter in my car.

We arrived at the hospital and she was taken right away. My grandson and I stayed in the waiting room. All day Kyle was great that day he sat looking at books and doing jigsaws and never complained once that he was bored. It seemed like and eternity till I heard any thing. Then they said that we could go and see my daughter. When my grandson and I got to the hospital room my daughter and son in law were looking so drained. And the cot at the side of the bed was empty. My heart sank but said nothing till my daughter said to me mum u have a granddaughter. My little angel was in intensive care she had been born nearly 6 weeks early. We got taken a long to see her. My heart sank when I saw all the tubes in her. But through the tubes I saw my granddaughter’s sweet little face.

She was the most beautiful little girl in the world. Every day another tube was taken out and I saw my little angel fighting and new ever thing was going to be alright. She was nearly 2 weeks old before I got to hold her in my arms. I remember the first time I held her she was mine I was proud that she was my baby. My daughter and son in law decide to call her Taylor. So here I was holding my baby Taylor. Every day she was getting stronger. She was still small but perfect. The proud granny I had even bought her first birthday present.

I was lying in bed on the morning of the 6 march. It was early but I was awake I could not sleep and the phone went. By the time I got downstairs they had rung off. When I picked up the phone I heard the beep that let me know that I had a message. I listened and it was the hospital asking me to get in touch. I phoned and said who I was. I was put on hold. Then the voice at the other end confirmed who I was then asked me to come in and support my daughter and son in law, as their daughter had died. I was numb rooted to the spot was this person telling me my granddaughter had died. I ran up stairs and grabbed the first thing to wear to get to the hospital and told my husband that Taylor had died. He told me I was not to drive but I was determined.

I went to my other daughter’s and woke her up she says she was coming to see her sister we then went to my daughters dads and told him. I still can’t remember how I made it to the hospital that morning. All I could do was hold my daughter and son in law. The doctor came in and said that they were brining in Taylor to let us see her. I held my granddaughter in my arms trying and hoping it was a bad dream asking god to bring here back to life. Take me I had lived a life. But God was not listening.

I took Kyle home to my house my daughter and son in law had to wait on the police coming to talk to them. This was all new to me why did the police want to talk to them. They took them back to their flat when they got there. A police man was waiting at the door. They took statements off them and took Taylor’s thing away I could not understand why they were being mean to my family at a time like this. But was told that’s what happens.

We got to hold my Taylor every day for a week before the funeral. Then we laid her in the ground. It was the hardest thing that has every happened and the cruelest why was god punishing us. It has taken me months to try and come to terms with what has happened but I still cant but am learning to live with it. I go to the cemetery a lot and just sit and talk to Taylor. I don’t want her to be lonely its getting near time for her first birthday. And none of us are looking forward to it. But we will be there for each other and have the help of s.i.d.s and the cot death society for help.

Without these people things would be a lot harder than they have been always some one to listen to u and can feel your pain. I think in this day and age that things like this should not happen. But they still do and can only thank SIDS and the other society's that are there to help parents through this and also grandparents you always expect to die before your own children and most certainly before your grandchildren. Life is hard at times but as long as family's can talk about things and be close it helps. I talk about Taylor every day. She will never be forgotten. She was our special little angel. And one day I will hold her in my arms again that I am sure off.

Denise Bowie, very proud grandmother of Taylor Brand, the most precious little girl to ever come in to this world.