A letter from Heaven

by Belinda Helser

My name is Belinda Helser. We lost our son Austin Cody Helser to SIDS on January 29 , 1996 , he was 3 weeks and 2 days old. I would like to share a letter with you that my mother wrote me and my husband as if it were from him;

Date: Mon, 29 Dec 1997

A letter from Heaven

Hi! Mommy and Daddy, This is Austin way up here in heaven. I knowed you would be worried about me so. I was going to write sooner but I have been really busy since I got here what with seeing all my Grandma's, papa's , aunt's , and uncle's.

They sure is a lot of them up here and they sure do love me a lot. Guess what I seen Jesus too. He sure is neat. He hold me too. But he doesn't get to much cause my Grandma's and Papa's has me most the time. Sometimes he tells them it's his turn now. Just like Grandma, Aunt D, and Dawn used to do. Then Grandma or someone will say Ok but just a little while then I get him back. They sure do get sassy with Jesus sometimes. But he just laughs cause he knows they love me a bunch.

Mommy & Daddy I know you are real sad cause I up and left you like I did. And I know you would have kept me longer if you could. Cause you sure did take good care of me. Gosh you worked so hard to get me down there , what with having to go to the hospital all the time and everything. Boy Daddy sure did get mad when he had to miss work. But I knowed he wasn't mad at me. He just wanted to make a lot of money so he could buy me and Dawn, Scooter, and Christer Lee lots of stuff. By the way what kind of name is Scooter. Is that really his name? Someone up here told me it was Vincent Ro something. Maybe Scooter is better at least I can spell that. But is it Scooter no or Scooter don't. You was all the time calling him that, especially when he would love me too hard. But he really didn't hurt me. I just tried to make everyone think he did so you would love on me more. I guess my Grandma and Papa stuck that name on him, They would probably called me Tinker or Little Bit or something real stupid like that. Grandma use to call me Little Bit and me a big boy like I was. Cause I was almost as big as Scooter when I was born. That's why it didn't hurt much when he loved me too hard.

Tell Dawn I sure do miss her specially the way she used to sing to me, Jesus Loves Me and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. She sure could sing good. Course I don't have time to miss much with all my Grandma's and Papa's here playing with me all the time.

I got lots of toys up here. Why I bet I have more than Toys R us. So when you want to buy me something just buy it for Dawn, Scooter , and Christer Lee cause I got bunches up here. Mama don't feel bad cause I left like I did cause I know you would have helped if you could. Cause you tooked real good care of me.

I asked Jesus why I had to leave like that when I was really happy where I was and why mommy and daddy and everyone had to be so sad. He said he was really sorry and he would make you fell better if you would let him. And when you came up here to see me he would tell you why.

I know this is a long letter cause I had a lot to say. Cause I didn't have a lot of time when I was down there with you. And cause I couldn't even talk yet. If I could have talked I would have told you how much I loved you and how good you took care of me.

Well I got's to go now cause here comes Grandma and Papa. They said to tell you they would take real good care of me until it was time for you to come see me. I Love You Bunches and Bunches.

From Heaven ,
Austin Cody Helser

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