Our Littlest Angel

by Mary Johnson

Fri, 12 Nov 2004

Our thoughts and prayers with you during times like these, My Heart goes out to all of you that have lost a child, for no one understands the heartache of a parent when they have lost their child.

We lost our first born. David Kenneth Johnson, November 14, 1979. He would have been 25 this Sunday. He was delivered full term. My Doctor had told me I could work fulltime during my pregnancy. I was a retail sales clerk (standing on my feet all day). I had toxemia. He told me the baby was little, he thought he would be about 5 plus pounds. They had taken an ultra sound about three weeks before delivery. The ultrasound showed that the baby was breach, otherwise it was normal. The week before delivery he wasn't moving much. I informed my Doctor, he said his heartbeat was muffled due to the toxemia. He said babies don't move as much when they are close to delivery. The next week I went into labor. The nurses could not find a heartbeat. They did an internal monitor and informed us that there was a chance that the baby was not living. The Doctor showed up later and checked me he said I'm sorry that there was 90% chance that the baby wasn't living and left. The nurse told me that I would have to go through a natural labor. My husband and I were only 19 full of fear and our eyes filled with tears. Praying and hoping that our David would be fine. Minutes seemed like hours. Hours had passed and I was rushed into the delivery room the nurses were scrubbing up, my husband by my side. I told the nurses I had to push and they told me I had to hold it. I delivered our little David soon after that. My husband was the only one at the table. Not a sound could be heard but the soft crying of two young parents. Our eyes filled with tears and our hearts broken in two. The Doctor showed up shortly after, but not soon enough. David was only 3 1/2 pounds just a little squirt. We both held him for a brief moment. Not nearly long enough. I wish I would of held him just a little longer. I wish someone would have told us to take more time. I wish I could have seen him when I could see. I wish I could of felt his tiny little toes, his little fingers, his ears, his tiny little hands. I wish I could have..... He was perfect in every way. But I just couldn't see him with all the tears in the way. God gave us strength during this difficult time. It felt like our world was ending and nothing would heal all the pain.

My oldest sister was in the same hospital when we delivered David, she had just delivered a beautiful baby boy Tommy just two days before. Two days later my Brother and his wife delivered a beautiful baby girl Melissa.

I asked God why us? While I was in the hospital a nurse came to me. She had lost her little girl just a year before me. She gave us a poem called “Little Angels” that I would like to share, she received it from a kind nun.

I thought we would never recover. It felt like someone had torn us in two. We were blessed with wonderful Family, Friends and Pastor Anderson and .... God blessed us one year later with the SUNSHINE of our life a beautiful daughter Trisha Elizabeth born 11/3/80, then God blessed us again 4 years later with JOY of our life a beautiful son Andrew (Drew) Joseph 10/2 and God blessed us 8 years later with the GRACE of our life another beautiful son Brady Mark 1/11. Our little David will never be forgotten and will always be in our heart.

Thank you to all of you that have prayed for us, who have sat by our sides, who just gave us a little hug and said it would be ok. Thank you God for all your blessings

Heartfelt thoughts and prayers,

Mary E. Johnson

In loving memory of our littlest Angel David - 11/14/79

“Little Angels”
When God calls little children to dwell with Him above
We mortals sometime question the wisdom of his love.
For no heartache compares with, the death of one small child
Who does so much to make our world, seem wonderful and mild.
Perhaps God tires of calling the aged to his fold.
So He picks a rosebud before it can grow old.
God knows how much we need them, and so He takes but few
To make the land of Heaven more beautiful to view.
Believing this is difficult, still somehow we must try.
The Saddest word mankind knows will always be “Goodbye”
So when a little child departs, we who are left behind,
Must realize God loves children
“Angels are hard to find”.

Happy Birthday David
My Love to you today and always,

xxxooo from your little Mommy