An Angel Among Darkness

In memory of Calli; July 16, 1997 - July 16, 1997

I have read several of the stories in your first person section and would like to thank you for it has reminded me that I am not alone. I would like to share my story with readers and have my e-mail address given to those who would like ot contact me. The following is my story of discovering my guardian angel who gives me the inspiration to continue.

By Jill Miller

Date: Thu, 7 Aug 1997

An Angel Among Darkness

As I went to the doctor's office for a routine check up the last thing I thought I'd be leaving with was the news that my baby had died. There was no heartbeat and the ultrasound showed no movements. As my labor was induced I tried not to think about what was happening. Shortly after giving birth to a beautiful baby girl on July 16, I realized I became a first-time mom as quickly as I lost the right to be called "Mom." It seemed that no one acknowledged the fact that I had just given birth. Rather, they focused on the fact that I had in a sort just given birth to death. I look on it differently. After holding Calli in my arms, I knew that she was alive. I knew her spirit would be with me from that moment on and for the rest of my life.

The days have been hard on me as I struggle to look forward to the tomorrows. I get strength from knowing that there is an angel up in heaven watching over me and protecting me. Although I only spent a short time with Calli, her memory lives on. Letting her go was the most difficult thing for me to do, but I know she's still with me everyday. If anyone has experienced the devestating effects of a stillborn baby, feel free to contact me. I would like to listen to your story and be there for each other to make it through this heart-breaking experience.